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My mum says I shouldn't allow my alcoholic father-in-law around my daughter

DEAR DEIDRE: AS my father-in-law is an alcoholic, my mum says I shouldn’t allow him around my daughter.

I’m 32 and married to a lovely guy, who’s 34. Our daughter is two.


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But his 59-year-old dad has an alcohol problem and sometimes you can smell he’s been drinking.

He’s not a bad person, but he’s not very reliable.

However, he loves his granddaughter and wants to spend time with her.

He keeps offering to babysit or have her stay over with him and his partner, and he promises he’d never drink around her.

He says he’s started going to AA meetings.

My mother has put her foot down and said she won’t allow her granddaughter anywhere near him.

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My husband says it’s none of her business.

I feel so torn and stuck in the middle.

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DEIDRE SAYS:  Family relationships can be difficult when they widen out to more distant relatives.

What you and your husband decide is not your mum’s business. If you want advice on dealing with family issues, try familylives.org.uk (0808 800 2222).

Talk to your mum and reassure her that you’ll never do anything to put your daughter at risk.

My support pack, Problem Drinker In The Family, has useful information and organisations that can help.

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Martina Birk

Update: 2024-04-22